In the Vatican gardens, under the orange glow of evening lamps, Pope Pius XIII—Lenny Belardo—paces slowly with Sister Mary and the ever-watchful Cardinal Voiello.
Lenny stops beside a small wooden table where several donation boxes sit.
“Look at these,” the pope says, tapping one with his ring. “Old European style. One box for everything. Confusing. Inefficient. Uninspired.”
Voiello sighs. “Holy Father, they are donation boxes.”
“Yes,” Lenny replies, “but they lack imagination.”
He turns to Sister Mary.
“Do you know how some Muslim mosques organize charity?”
She shakes her head.
“They use different boxes,” the pope says. “Clear purpose. Clear intention. A box for the mosque. A box for the poor. A box for charity. It teaches discipline.”
He points to the table.
“So we modernize.”
Voiello raises an eyebrow. “Modernize… the boxes?”
Lenny begins arranging them.
“One box for the Pope,” he declares calmly.
“One box for the priests.”
“And one box… for the altar boys.”
Voiello nearly chokes. “Your Holiness!”
“The Church must be honest about economics,” Lenny says coolly. “Three pillars. Authority, ministry, and service.”
He pauses, then gestures toward a small electronic terminal on the table.
“And of course,” he continues, “we install a debit and credit machine.”
Voiello blinks. “A card reader… in St. Peter’s?”
“Why not?” Lenny says. “The faithful carry plastic now instead of coins.”
He presses the terminal button.
“Tap for God.”
Sister Mary suppresses a smile.
“But,” the pope adds suddenly, raising one finger, “we always keep a cash option.”
Voiello nods cautiously. “For tradition?”
“For freedom,” Lenny replies.
He leans closer, voice lowering.
“The bankers dream of a cashless society. A world where every coin is tracked, every sinner accounted for, every purchase judged.”
He shakes his head.
“No. The Church must never help build that cage.”
He taps the wooden box again.
“Cash is anonymous charity. A widow’s coin dropped quietly for God.”
Then Lenny looks up with a rare grin.
“And besides…”
He walks away across the courtyard.
“Everyone knows the true king of cash.”
Voiello sighs. “And who is that, Holy Father?”
Lenny turns back.
“Johnny Cash.”
He spreads his arms slightly.
“Johnny Cash is king.”
Sister Mary laughs softly as the bells of St. Peter’s begin to ring. 🔔💰